Valentine’s Day comes with some altogether unwelcome expectations; cheap chocolate, overpriced prix fixe menus, ugly stuffed animals and saccharin sentiments.
In spite of it all, I am in full support of any and all observations and expressions of love. Yes, the holiday is rife with cliches but it also presents an opportunity to create something memorable for the people that matter, be it partner, BFF, dog, bartender, sub, whatever.
Interestingly and apropos, Valentine’s Day falls during Aquarius season. As the sign of the lone wolf and the keen observer, Aquarius serves to remind us that we can stand, completely whole and utterly alone.
With this in mind I encourage all singles to be their own goddamn Valentine. Date yourself and pull out all the stops; wear the good underwear, spring for the orchids and order dessert. Essentially, take a hard cue from 2K23, new year new Miley Cyrus, with or without the side of vengeance and the semi-nude HIIT workout sequence.
You can also make like Miley and buy yourself (or anyone else for that matter) a beautiful bouquet of flowers. May we recommend this bouquet of lavender (the power color of power earth sign Capricorn) roses inspired by the favored arrangement of lover of love and Queen of R&B Whitney Houston. A portion of proceeds go directly to the singer’s legacy foundation which seeks to enrich repair and rebuild lives through community outreach
This year, Valentine’s Day coincides with Venus swimming in the warm waters of Pisces, the sign of the dreamer and the resilient romantic who always believes in the curative, enduring power of love. With this in mind I hope you will all put a little more imagination into your expressions of endearment. Whether you spend the day in the company of lovers, friends or your own fine self, find inspiration in our list of Valentine’s Day date ideas based on your zodiac sign. Be sure to check out our celeb inspired Valentine’s Day gift guide, sex toy recommendations and our complete list of V-day presents for each and every loved one in your life.
Get a tattoo
“I dare you,” is an aphrodisiac for the Aries ilk so up the ante and heighten the stakes by suggesting a potentially permanent mistake. Leave it up to your lover to pick stick and poke or professional but either way it shall be a holiday to remember. For the needle averse or the newly coupled, consider taking a sharpie to the back of your beloved and leaving a meaningful message in a slightly less committal kind of ink.
Toga party for two
Taurus is associated with the Greek god of wine and revelry, ladies and gentlemen Dionysus. To seduce a bull in the manner of the gods, revert to ritual. Insist on either togas, sheer fabric or nudity as dress code, light an unearthly amount of candles, buy very, very good wine and fill every bowl in sight with grapes. A combination of grazing, good lighting and not leaving the house will be pure poetry to the Taurus in question.
Answer trivia questions about your partner
Inspired by GQ’s Couple’s Quiz video series, invite your beloved to ask and answer key trivia questions. Whether the queries and results are based on established info for couples that have history or a guessing game for the newly attached, it’s an excellent exercise in communication exchange, the favored forte of Geminis.
Recreate your first date
Of all the signs in the zodiac, Cancer is the most likely to cast an eye and a rose colored lens to the past. Lean into this nostalgic quality by recreating your first date either by returning to the scene of the heart steal or incorporating elements of the experience; IE cooking a meal inspired by the restaurant, stealing mugs from the cafe where you shared your first meal, wearing what you wore when you were introduced etc.
Paint, photograph or otherwise capture the Leo in your life in repose, practiced magnum or the glorious buff. Leo rules the fifth house of sex, creativity and play so if you don’t fancy yourself a creator in the traditional sense, consider investing in a kit to make abstract art while getting it on with the Love is Art Canvas and Paint Kit.
Visit a greenhouse or botanical garden
Virgo is an earth sign and as such is most at home in nature. If weather permits take a long romantic walk in the woods/park and plan for a picnic. If its too cold for this kind of behavior consider a stroll through the botanical gardens or a green house. Virgos are a practical lot so If you choose the latter location, forego a bouquet and tell your lover to choose whatever potted plant warms their blood.
Feed them in a fancy fashion
The average Libra may suggest they don’t care about Valentine’s Day and this will be a lie. As the sign of partnership, they do care and you better come correct with the tasteful and the unexpected and don’t even f***ing think about carnations. To ensure a successful evening and improve your chances of getting lucky, cook them a meal at home or make reservations at a place you can barely afford. Whichever you choose, bear in mind that the greatest gift you can give a Libra is decisiveness. Take all of the choice off the table and set it as prettily as possible. Don’t ask them what they want, show them that you already know.
Visit a speakeasy or an escape room
Scorpios prefer the quiet and the dark and are thrilled by a secretive surprise. Honor these preferences by taking them to a speakeasy, cemetery, or escape room. If you prefer the insular, and god knows they do, create an intimacy cave in your home. Light the candles, draw the shades, recite a poem you’ve memorized (may I suggest this one by fellow Scorpion Sylvia Plath) and maybe bring out the Ouija board for kicks and kinks.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Sagittarius peeps like to have a good time all the time and tend to feel right at home and right on target in a dive bar with a karaoke machine. Touched by honesty, hilarity and earnest displays of emotion, any archer will swoon at peanuts on the floor and an embarrassing serenade from their significant other.
Ask the questions that count
Capricorn is in it for the long haul and the premium pay off. They don’t have time or money to waste on small talks or cheap overtures so the move here is to sit down and settle in to the “36 Questions That Lead to Love,” an exercise in openness and a step towards closeness for the typically closed off Cap. It might feel at first a bit more like a job interview than a date but that’s sort of a kink for this lot.
Aquarius is associated with higher thinking, space travel, toe shoes artificial intelligence and other future forward pursuits. Honor their otherworldliness by taking them to an observatory or a remote location with clear skies to ponder. Download a star tracking app, keep warm with a thermos full of hooch or astrologically relevant tea.
Create a cinema nest
Pisces is ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams, delusions and the natural habitat of cinema. To fulfill a fish this Valentine’s Day, grab a white sheet, a projector and an unexpected movie, like “Wings of Desire” or something more explicit like soft core porn or “9 1/2” weeks. These people are easily swayed/seduced by pastel colors, fairy lights, cotton candy and ketamine so make sure to have some or all present in the nest you curate.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.